One Of My Turns

"'Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the house
not a creature was stirring, not even a mouse."
Heh. She loves that poem. Used to sing it over and over again every Christmas eve. Got so sick of it. Makes me smile thinking about it now.
Oh, and the Christmas trees. We'd run around all over town to see as many trees as we could. Every hotel or park that she thought might have one. The light in her eyes when she saw it was ... used to make it worth it.
Have I told you how much you look like her? You could be mistaken for cousins ... I've seen so many people who look like her ... everyone tells me I'm seeing things. They actually suggested I check into an asylum ... they called it something else - a health facility! But I know what they meant...
You don't believe me, do you. You don't think you look like her. Would you like to see her picture? I have one in my wallet ...
See! See the similarities! Your hair is just a little longer .... and your nose is slightly bigger .... the lips are the same ... you don't have the mole above yours though. Hmm ... that's fixed easily enough.
Where is that black marker of mine? I knew I kept it here somewhere. Can never find anything when I want to ... she always used to help me search. Ah! here it is. Ok, now don't move. Mmmmm.... right, there we go. Lets take a good look. He he ... she'd always do this after putting on her make up .... put her thumb up and look at herself in the mirror ... like she was an artist painting a masterpiece.
Do you know why all the artists put their thumbs in front of their face when they look at their paintings or sculptures or .... or .... what else do artists make?
Hm.... almost the same ... I marked the mole in a little higher than it should be .... anyway, spilt milk, huh. This was her marker, y'know. You'd be surprised at how much a cheap wine glass can make you remember ... or a stupid brand of chocolate. There's a lot of her stuff that I just couldn't throw away. Too many memories attached to them ....
She gave me this pen knife a couple of years ago ... as a Christmas gift. I remember the look on her face when I was opening the present ... she was more excited than I was! All the little things ...
Used to get so wild with me when I tossed it around like this. Her eyes would open wider and wider as the knife came down ... Just like that! Just like yours did just now! Ha ha See, I know what am talking about. The two of you are similar. Don't bother struggling against the knot. They taught me that in the scouts ... she used to love that old beret of mine ...
Useful thing, this. I've used it a lot in the recent past. Keeping it sharp is a bit of an exercise though, have to be careful that the blade doesn't break.
Anyway, the hair is the next on the list. Hers was shoulder length ... I guess I'll have to take off about half an inch ... what do you think? No? Hm... you're right, it's about a quarter of an inch.
Am so sorry, I know that a knife isn't the best tool to cut a person's hair but I don't have anything else with me right now. I know how particular women are about their hair ... she was ... the others were too ... they tried to stop me .... but you can't really stop art, now can you? Now ... hold still.
Will you please stop squirming!! I can't do this right if you keep moving!
Fuck! Now look what you made me do. This side is too short! Why do all of you have to make it so difficult for me! I mean, what did I ever do to any of you? Huh?! Tell me!
I need a drink. Where is that bottle? Why can I never find anything when I want it!
Ah, finally!
Fuck! This is Vodka! Why is nothing going right today?! Her favourite drink ... Vodka. I'm a whiskey man myself. You like whiskey? Supposedly you can tell how good a whiskey is by pouring it into a glass and swirling it around .... I wonder if that's how you judge vodka. He he ... I don't really care anyway, all that matters is how drunk it gets me. You know ... some places serve their drinks in test tubes ... how cool is that, huh?!
I wonder what's on the tube ... hang on, I saw the remote somewhere .....
boing .... tch tch tch
Ooh! Ooh! Tom and Jerry! You gotta love Tom and Jerry! Have you seen this episode? This is the best part! All the dishes come crashing down .... wait for it .... wait for it ..... Crash
Ha ha
See. Didn't I tell you that was the best part? I like one of the other episodes the best. The one where they're having a war in the basement. Isn't that little mouse also in that one ... bubbles ... nibbles ... Are you hungry? No? Me neither. Anyway, there's enough vodka left ... um, ok ... so maybe there's not so much left. You shouldn't have made me angry. I get violent when I'm angry.
She would narrow her eyes when she was angry ... and they'd get wrinkles ... um ... wrinkled on the side when she smiled ... she used to smile a lot ... it was so easy for me to make her smile ...
Your eyes aren't very much like hers. Brown ... yours are black. You could drown in those eyes ... I used to spend ages staring into them .... sigh
Did you know that they found the genetic code that controls the colour of the eyes ... I wonder if they can change it after the person is born?
Crack Damn! What did I step on now? I really should clean this place. Oh ... I never thought I'd see one of these again! Here, look ... its one of her lockets. She liked lockets, the kind that are made of clay ... y'know, the kind that girls wear on a black thread. She liked them so much she even started making them after a while. I think this is one that she made ... here, see .. you can see the colours she used to paint it .... strange combination ... red, green and black. She used to collect these ....
You like to collect things? Stamps? Coins .... Ah, coins. Numismatics, right? I collect memories. Things that have been, things that will be ... after they've been. Sometimes .... sometimes, you have to make them be ....
The most difficult part about keeping my collection is that it's a little difficult to see it whenever I want to ... everytime I see it someone loses something ....
Snkkt

5 comments:

El Furibundo said...

Psycho.. now THIS is scary.

'Smee! said...

You freeeeeak! Been reading about that Ipswich guy, eh?

apurv said...

it's too late, you've lost it

Stargazer said...

@Furibundo - I think my title of Psycho finally has some justification, eh. :-)

@'Smee - Who? I take it that this was far enough from normal to seem just like me.

@Apurv - Never had it to begin with.

aparna said...

well all i can say is that u really are a freak and that u should really start writin books now.i know they would b perfect.