Words - 55 of 'em

Inspired by chamique and a tag I once found on Profound Gibberish am trying my hand at fiction, in 55 words.

The train pulling away under his watchful gaze, the light from the match played across the hard planes of his face.
A wisp of white smoke, let out with a sigh, a stark contrast against the surrounding blackness.
As it slipped out of sight, he fell to his knees, the weight of the world.....

Ok, ok. So its 54 words. Am a terse man.
I want to see what the others will do with this.
'Smee!, thee shall I charge to pick up where this hath left off.


Edit: 'Smee! has continued the story here


'Smee! said...

Oh! Woe is me! The curse of the stargazer falleth... :(
You've put before me one of the toughest challenges ever: imposing a word limit on a rambler is sin!
Will take it up nonetheless, though a long wait is in order. :)

'Smee! said...

You've done a great job, btw; though the theme of gloom continues :|

Rize said...

hey...'smee! ...how much more longer??? the Rize is waiting..rather patiently! :p

El Furibundo said...

Where's the story, you oafs!!? the train... ooooohhh... the night.... aaaahhh... but whither, O minions is the tale?

Stargazer said...

@Furibundo - The story, my loyal disciple, will reveal itself as we add to it. The story that I had in my head is not the one 'Smee! had and that is where the fun lies. :-)